My boyfriend thinks he is more attracted to me due to the weight that I have gained. I am not just an overweight girlfriend to him. Is he speaking the truth or lying just to avoid hurting my feelings? Should I believe what he says? My boyfriend is fatting me up. I feel insecure about my body around my boyfriend. I know body insecurity in relationships might be the most dangerous sign but “does my boyfriend hate my body?” What do guys think is hot? How to feel attractive when overweight? What do guys notice about your looks? How to be confident in bed when overweight? How to look hot plus size? I will not say my boyfriend is really skinny, but he is not bulky either. I am looking forward to getting answers to these questions.
We got this question from a frequent visitor to our site. We will not disclose her name but we thought it would be a great idea to not only answer her but to the other fellow visitors who might have these questions and they are not sure what to do. So here is a brief answer to these queries. I will try to include all the possible aspects of this situation so you can get a much clearer perspective.
Here, first I will be adding my experience with my ex-wife Jessie. I was married to her for 17 years.
When I started dating Jessie, she had that beautiful face and that ideal kind of figure (not exactly a magazine model but for an average looking guy like me, she was pretty. Apparently, aesthetically she was more attractive than me in our relationship). We dated for almost two years before we got married.
My girlfriend + Ex-wife used to be very conscious regarding her weight as she told me that she was obese in her teens and when I met her first time I was not able to tell because she was 21 and there was no sign of excess weight.
She started gaining some weight after our first child. Although it was not much for me, she was not happy with that. Her chubbiness did not bother me to the least, and even I told her it would be quite rare to find a woman who does not gain the slightest weight after marriage. No matter what she always used to try to keep her body in shape. In those 17 years of our marriage, her weight used to fluctuate up and down and to be honest; It did not bother me.
My Ex-wife used to hate the way she looked in days when she used to put on some weight. She even went for some supplements like PhenQ and other weight loss methods including exercises. She lost some 90 pounds; my ex-wife was even much smaller as compared to the weight at which she was when we first started dating each other.
I do not know how much you and your boyfriend are mature. I don’t have much clue about the two of you. But if I know men correctly, the way I used to feel for my Ex-wife and with my years of experience, I am trying to answer your query.
Things That Might Help Any Overweight Girlfriend That is Being Insecure
Is My Boyfriend Lying To Me?
If he is saying that he is okay with your overweight state, the chances are he is speaking the truth. He is not lying to you. What we find attractive it varies from person to person. Something that is pleasing to my eye may be not much attractive to other humans. He found you appealing. Your boyfriend approached you; he is in the relationship with you apparently even when you look a bit overweight, it just reflects one thing he is serious about the relationship and just variable cannot change his feelings for you. In your current case, the variable is excess weight but who cares, if your boyfriend is okay with it.
There Is A Second Side Of This Situation As Well.
Why do you think your boyfriend is lying? Even if you are an overweight girlfriend
What will he gain or loss with this lie? Did he lie in the past as well? These are the question that only you could answer. If you feel you are not happy with this additional weight. Reduce it, through supplements or exercises, but you know what! Do it for yourself and not for an ex-boy boyfriend, current boyfriend or new boyfriend. See, it is your life, your body, whatever decision you want to take should be truly yours and not under the pressure of anybody else. (I do not know what you exactly look like but whatever you want to weight, do it only for your sake, not for anybody else). Do not think of social standards or media hype. Do what can make you happy and healthy.
How To Be Confident In Bed When Overweight/ Weight Gaining Affecting Intimacy (A Question Of An Overweight Girlfriend)
Sexually, she was more attractive to me when she was overweight. I made love to her when she was 100 kg, 74 kg and I made love to her when she was just 55 kg. I have experienced her weight-variations. To be honest, I liked her more when she was obese. You may still turn on your partner even if you are overweight.
Skinny body does have its charm, but in my preference, she was much dearer to me when she had some meat and fat on her bones. Here, I would like to mention when she was gaining weight my marriage was growing too. Physical attraction can just be best for the first impression but for keeping someone and madly in love with you needs more than that. Love requires understanding and so many other traits. Physical attraction can be a way to get a reasonable partner, but it will not guarantee that your relationship will get any sort of strength.
The relationship is not just about getting physical or intimate moments; it has emotional, spiritual and much more.
What Does It Tell About You More Than Just An Overweight Girlfriend?
You have asked this question, and there are a couple of things that have come up. Your boyfriend is not probably lying, but if you are asking this question, it accentuates that someone has lied to you before or you might have got hurt.
Now, just because someone in the past did not value your real personality over your physical appearance does not mean that your boyfriend will mistreat you the same way.
Secondly, that person belittled you, and you got hurt, and now unintentionally, your boyfriend might suffer the reaction that was for that other stupid person. To be clear about it that no matter what stupid person or people used to think of you, your boyfriend is a different being. He is likely to be actually serious about your relationship with him. Thus, do not form barriers by bringing such questions in your relation.
Why do you want “my boyfriend comments on my weight”? He might not say, “I want my girlfriend to gain weight” or “My girlfriend is gaining weight, and I like it,” but he might want your presence more than anything else. Positively take this whole situation.
Insecurity Is A Curse Than A Blessing (Body Insecurity In Relationships Kills Even If You’re An Overweight Girlfriend)
He might be lying but do you really want to listen to the truth probably not. Try to figure out what the things are that are making you this much conscious? Why do you feel this way? Figure out those factors. If it is only about looks, there are a couple of things that you can do without losing an inch. Try to get rid of your insecure feelings.
What Do Guys Think Is Hot? (A Question Of An Overweight Girlfriend)
It is not the same for everyone. Different people have different preference. Some people find physical beauty more attractive and even then different people find different body parts attractive. In a relationship, try to figure out other things that give the meaning to that relationship. To be honest, a real relationship should not only be about hot and sexy physical appearance. Yes, it might be one of the factors in initial days, but as the relationship grows, it should be a little different.
How To Look Hot Plus Size/ How To Feel Attractive When Overweight
First of all, be confident. Confidence is something that no matter what your body shape is it instantly makes you attractive.
Changes in your wardrobe can also make a lot of difference. Sometimes your weight is not too horrific; you just choose the wrong style. Try to revamp your wardrobe or get a makeover. We are living in an absolutely fabulous time where so many brands are designing seriously gorgeous attire for Plus size women, and then there are so many plus size models that are doing a pretty good job. In short, I am trying to say that try to change the way you feel about yourself. Stop taking pity on yourself. Do productive things, instead of just thinking bad about yourself. Self Depreciation cannot lead you anywhere.
I used to see my life partner in my ex-wife who was physically equal to me rather seeing a middle-aged/obese female individual. My ex-wife’s obesity was never a barrier to the way I used to care about her or love her. I know she might not believe in me when I used to tell her that I like her body no matter she was skinny or over 90 kg. Probably, she used to think that I was trying to comfort her instead of telling her the truth, but honestly, the truth I have mentioned throughout this post.
Everyone has flaws. None of us is perfect. Try to think other positive things about yourself instead of considering yourself an overweight girlfriend and be satisfied that your boyfriend is not another jerk, but he actually gives your relationship more priority than your skinny looks.